Not sure what to do!

Has been awhile since I have popped my head in here. Just never get around to it I guess.

Thought I would write this in here as I have no one I can talk to IRL about how I am feeling. I mean there are people but I dunno just find it easier this way.

I have had a crappy mothers day, Brett is being a prick, the kids are doing my head in and I have been doing something that has really made me question who I am and what I want out of my marriage. If I want this marriage at all. I'm not going to go into full details as I know friends read this and don't want to put them in an awkward position.

I just feel so lost at the moment and feel like I am invisible most of the time. Only good for one thing. I am craving some affection and not just when it suits someone else. I am craving to be treated like a human being and not have someone who thinks its alright to , when they read their missed calls says 'oh some retard rang me twice'. Me being the retard of course.

I have put up with this for as long as I can remember and tend to sugar coat how I am really feeling to everyone. I tell them how happy I am, how fine things are. But they aren't . I feel like shit most of the time and I don't know what to.